Saya Nak Cakap Sikit Aje!

Disclaimer : this is a situation exclusively for Malays to reflect on. I am not trying to be racist, but my post today is about my culture. Malay culture.

Have you ever heard your parents fighting and your mom said ” Abang, kita perlu berbincang”. This is a translation of what westerners are used to.  Hint : “Honey, we need to talk”. There is nothing wrong with that, except for in our culture, we are not used to this. Do you agree?

Instead, our moms will say ” Abang, saya nak cakap sikit boleh?” Then dia pun pot pet pot pet macam machine gun, and panjang pulak tu, walaupun pada mulanya  cakap nak cakap sikit je kan.

Inilah cantiknye budaya kita, sebab kita dia ajar untuk bercakap berkias. Kita juga diajar untuk ‘berkasar’ secara lembut. (Wah, an oxymoron!) Tak percaya? Cuba google tv program Oh Yeah, Sentap bersama Afdlin Shauki tu. Budaya sindir-menyindir adalah satu budaya Melayu yang mengajar kite untuk bercakap kasar secara lembut. Remember his rules? (Keluarkankan kata-kata manis, pandang ke atas, tangan di dada)

It makes you laugh and it is our culture. Budaya ada baik, ada buruknya. Baiknya budaya sindir menyindir ialah untuk menjaga hati dan air muka seseorang. Beralih pula kepada sisi buruk budaya ni – Some people won’t get this.

Orang Melayu cakap, tak paham. Okay? Saya sediakan beberapa situasi untuk anda hakimi ;

1. Ketika anda beratur di kafeteria kampus, sedang anda ingin cepat kerana perlu ke kelas. Tiba-tiba, seorang pelajar memotong barisan.
2. Ketika anda berdiskusi bersama kawan di kawasan sekitar fakulti di hari minggu. Beberapa orang lelaki, mungkin pelajar jarak jauh, duduk berhampiran dan merokok.

Apakah reaksi anda terhadap situasi-situasi ini?

Mahu tahu reaksi saya? Tak mahu? Ahh saya tak peduli, karena saya nak menyampaikan hujah saya ni. Sabar je la eh.

1. Reaksi saya dengan pelajar memotong barisan – menarik muka masam, menjeling sehabis baik bagi menunjukkan protes.
2. Reaksi saya dengan orang merokok di dalam fakulti, walaupun di hari minggu – mengipas-kipas muka saya (yang dah muncung sejengkal) tanda protes terhidu asap rokok, sambil berkata dalam hati “EH korang ni tak paham bahasa ke, tak suka la asap rokok ni”

Mahu tahu selanjutnya? Reaksi orang-orang yang mencetuskan kemarahan dalam hati saya ini?

1. Pelajar tersebut membayar makanan dan terus blah.
2. Golongan lelaki itu menghabiskan rokok mereka. Cis kau.

Cuba renungkan di mana salah saya. Anda tak pasti? Jika anda tak pasti, anda pun dua kali lima macam saya (yang dulu) Saya yang sekarang sudah sedar kesilapan saya dan akan memperbaiki kesalahan saya.

Macam lecturer saya cakap “Don’t just complain, give some solutions, or else, you are part of the problems”

Maka saya sudah jumpa jalan penyelesaian. Mahu tahu? Renungkan dahulu dan tunggu entri sambungan saya.

The Morning After

This semester has been the most hectic one so far. I had managed to pull through every semester, but this sixth semester – I just ‘go with the flow’. Seven subjects with six subject as ongoing assessment courses – no final exam which means we have a lot of assessment in just a short fourteen weeks. A wild ride indeed to survive. It is evident with the lack of post .

Of all the wild ride for this semester, nothing can beat the past three weeks.

For the past three weeks, my life was like a roller-coaster ride. At times I was euphoric with the sudden height, then it pulled me down so fast that I felt like my heart stopped pumping. It was the combination of both – having Mr. F in Malaysia for a short three weeks, and having to catch the due dates for assignments and micro-teaching.

I got to spend time with him the few days upon his arrival, and the last few days before his going back. Unlike the previous year, I did not fetch him at the airport because I had a test on that particular Saturday. On top of that, I did not present at the airport to bid him farewell as I had another test the following day. Sedih, yes. Sangat! But what to do, my priority is my study.

The last four days were also the ‘climax’ of my euphoric excitement. We went out  in the wee of Saturday morning - jalan-jalan , makan-makan. Then I had a test on the same Staurday morning at 10.30 to 12.30. Then my real ‘roller-coaster’ ride began as from that moment on I had to drive back and forth from Shah Alam to Kota Damansarac(his sister’s house where he stayed) to Setapak (my dad’s house where I stayed during weekends)  several times within a day!

Living in the fastest lane is the exact metaphor of my having to get here and there. Thanks to my beloved car for she had to bear the excessive braking as I literally driving in the fast lane for the couple of days. I just wish there is no ‘saman‘ ticket being issued. Fingers’ crossed.

Ohh yeah, I had merepek too long to actually come to my main idea the morning after. The morning after I went out with him will always be ear-to-ear smile. Unlike those morning afters, the morning after he left for Bangalore was the hardest one. I got up, only to find myself feeling like sobbing, but also to hold back my tears because I had to sit for a test and I need to get going. The morning after,  I got up, only to feel the ‘emptiest’ days ahead because there is no more text from him to ‘instruct’ me with his plan.

That morning after, I cling to my pillow so hard not to think of the days ahead.

My life has changed to its normal course now – plain doing assignments, going to classes and nothing to anticipate. I will get enough sleep, enough time for myself. But still, if I had a chance, I really opt for the busiest days as long as I still get to be with him. Alas, our duty are our studies, so let the studies come first before our love affair.

Rindu you, Mister .