I miss my dad ):

Last night, after class, my sister and I went out to have dinner, and thank God that the service was good. But that’s not what I wanted to discuss here. When the food was served, and my sister tasted it, she was like “Eh nasi goreng ni macam nasi goreng abah la”. I tasted it and it did indeed taste like my dad’s cooking. Yeah my dad is a good cook, since he has inherited the ‘tukang masak‘ gene from my grandmother, and I think I inherited it too (I hope so )

I just checked the Air Asia website to, you know, just do some ‘window shopping’, predicting when will I have time to go back, but nay, I don’t have that enough time to go back in the near future as I will be having classes on weekends.

I then browsed for a clip which my lecturer showed in our class, and it brought me to tears again as I could partly relate to it. I still remember when I was little, when my dad was taking a nap, I would always be super terrified if he suddenly stopped snoring. I would go close to his chest and tried to hear his breathing. Sometimes I would just woke him up and find some lame excuses. Or at times, if he was taking a nap on the bed, I would go “lompat-lompat” on the bed until he woke up.

I also remember when my parents went to perform their hajj, my sisters and I were having difficult time to sleep and we could sleep only until my grandmother gave us my dad’s t-shirt and my grandfather imitated the sound of my dad’s snoring and soon after, we fell asleep. This is something which my grandpa will always recall and tell us , how manja we were with my dad.

I also remember well enough the anxiety of a 5/6 years old girl when waiting for her dad. My father at that time was working as a lecturer and he would come back like other office workers, on 5 or 5.30 p.m. I would always be anxious waiting for him as I was terrified something might happen on his way home. There was time when I felt he came back too late. It was about 5.50 p.m. and I was waiting outside and went like “Abah, da lama along tunggu. Sangat lama. Pukul 5.60 baru abah sampai” with a sulky tone and that “5.60 p.m.” was my lamest attempt to exaggerate how late he was but to no avail as my dad ended up laughing at me with his reply “mane ade pukul 5.60..hahaha”

Up till now, I still wonder why on earth did I not just say “pukul enam”? Duh. Then when I learned his office number, I would dial up sharp on 5. I would always try to get him on the line, and it was always in vain as my dad rarely at his office. Which always gave me a hard time calculating where he was like “maybe abah pegi beli pisang goreng” so I calculated how much time he took from the stall to home etc. etc and if he was a tad late from usual time he came back, I would have some panic attacks. What a miserable child I was.

Why chose to be unhappy when you can choose to be happy?

I really don’t understand some people who like to torture themselves for no apparent reason.

First of all, choosing to fight with your friends, rather than trying to find a solution for your resentment. If you still see no other way than solving the problem, then, by all means, launch the silent treatment, but please respect other people. This would mean, do not show your resentment because your negative vibe would actually affect others. I mean, come on la.

If you are angry at someone else, why should other people  suffer as well? This leads to another advice – don’t spread around your so-called pathetic story. Memorize this by heart - truth will prevail, so sooner or later, people will know who’s the victim. Remember, there are both sides of a story.

If you want to launch your silent treatment, do it wisely. By this, I mean, no showing around your bitter face. It makes your ‘enemy’ laugh because they know you’re the one who suffer, not them. So, by all means, pretend to be happy when in fact you’re not. Another thing you should remember is that when you spread around the words, you get dosa for free. Do you know not the term? Seriously? It is called ‘mengumpat’. Go and google the term.

I really don’t understand the need of blaming people for your mistakes. I do believe you don’t see it as your mistake. Well, young lady. Let me enlighten you with this. It came to me as an horror when I read your blog when you stated you cannot do your revision because your friend made so much noise. Not only that, your friend’s attitude continued to boggle you and further demotivate you to studies. Let me ask you a question, have you addressed this issue before bursting up with anger? Nay, you haven’t, have you?

Let me tell you this, a simple act of saying “awak ni bising la, boleh senyap tak sebab saye nak study?” will ease you from torturing yourself like this? It is not her who demotivated you, it is you who sabotaged yourself to study. I did have a problem back then when I could not focus on my book when I was in my room, so I headed to the library – it’s a solution to my problem, not just blaming others. So, again, it is you who need fixing. Fix your communication skill before attacking others with your uncharitable words. You, poor thing.

Another thing which I do not understand is that why waste time to publish your ‘artwork’ on the blog, if your ‘artwork’ only highlight your weaknesses? (Ya, I just wasted my time posting this, when I should be doing my critique essay) Your weaknesses which I concern the most is your language competence. If you’re not that proficient, don’t try to coin a new word for instance – bad + est = baddest. It hurts my eyes, knowing that you will teach English someday, but you don’t improve yourself.

This leads to another BIGGEST question mark from yours truly – WHY DID YOU BOTHER SETTING UP A BLOG TO EXPRESS YOUR RESENTMENT, when you can spend the night to improve your language competency? Or you can improve your rhetorical discourse that when people read your writing they will agree with you. Then only you can attract people to read.

Another advice from me is that why should you highlight on people’s negative sides, when I think you are the one who is negative. For example, you accuse your friend for being ‘a friend for benefit’. But then the truth is that you’re the one who’s taking advantage from her. It is not an accusation though, since I’ve been observing you for quite sometime. (If only I could record it) If she did take advantage on you, you should ask your self what benefit did she get from you? Is not that ‘a friend in need is a friend indeed’, is it? So you help her, you get pahala, but you ungkit-ungkit, you get nothing young lady.

I could spend all day elaborating what you did wrong. But then, your choice of being ‘you’ causes me a heartache. This writing is also not to attack you, but to make you see into the problems you created. Don’t just see, but look and digest it.

Just keep this in mind ” Be friend to a mirror and you will see a horror film” – that’s the film you just directed, and there is still time to change the plot. Kthanksbye.